Saying no is actually saying yes

Okay, no, I am not being esoterically bizarre.

I promise.

If you are like me, saying no is not an easy thing to do. In fact, it is incredibly difficult. There is a lot of guilt/shame built into it. Anything from "If I say no, they won't like me" to the fact I love to help people and saying 'no' rattles me.

I've figured something out, though.

Saying no to others is, in fact, saying yes to me.

I'm on a path. A path of enlightenment, a path of consciously creating my reality, a path of my own truth.

If I say 'yes' to someone when it goes against the path I am on, it actually puts a block in my way and stops me from being the me I know I am. On the other hand, if I say no, I am saying yes to my path and reinforcing to myself that I am worth investing in.

Now, when I say no, I am not doing it viciously or with any kind of negative emotion. It is said clearly after thinking about me, what path I am on, and how doing what the other person is asking would affect that path. I may say yes and then realize afterward that it was the wrong thing and have to change my answer. And that's okay.

If you are having a hard time saying 'no' to others and it gets in the way of saying 'yes' to yourself, try this first.

Get into a calm, meditative state and imagine the scene. Imagine yourself saying "I'm sorry. That is just not what I need to be doing right now." And imagine the other person responding, "Oh, that's okay." Repeat the scene over and over in your head until you are calm and it feels as though it has already happened. Then, remove yourself from your meditative state and go about your day, telling the person when you can.

When you say 'no' in a clear, non-confrontational, firm way, you will feel better. About your decision and especially about saying 'yes' to you.

And by the way? Saying 'yes' to you is a good thing. Whoever told you that it was 'selfish' was probably trying to teach you what they learned. Is it selfish to put yourself first? Is it selfish to take care of your needs so that you can do what you want with your life? Is it selfish to energize yourself so that you can be there for others?

In this case, I am going to have to go with this type of selfishness being a good thing. You aren't doing it against someone else. No. You are doing it for you.

And in that lies the difference.

Creating one's own reality is a very self-involved process, but it also affects everyone around us. As we change, those around us will have to either change to accommodate those changes, or get out of our way.

If you make these changes in the right way, they are easy, without argument, and will be for the greater good. And if someone around you isn't happy for you? Maybe it is time to wish them well and move on. After all...if they cannot be happy for you, are they truly someone you want in your life?

See them happy, see yourself happy, and move into your new reality.

As you think you are, so you become. And no matter what happens around you, always see the world as you imagine it.

Say 'no' to that which does not serve the new you and 'yes' to the you that you are becoming.