Day 11 - Panic Attack

( Originally posted July 30, 2008 Boundless Living Challenge )


OK day 11 - 1/4 of the way through.

Time to take stock in where I am at. I am keeping up my EFT. I notice I am struggling with forgetting my 10-10 list, but i remember at some point during the day.

Last night I had a setback. I was trying to get to sleep, when suddenly some thoughts entered my head that I didn't want.

There is a job that I sent in a resume for quite awhile ago, that is interested in me. Problem is - I am no longer interested in them. Through EFT I have been able to recognize some of my barrier techniques and one came up like a shot last night. Usually, just when I am about to go after a goal that I truly want, I will kind of freak out and take a job in the web/software development field. It always turns out the same way. Yeah - I make good money, but I end up unhappy and hating the job. I have been in the web/software development field for over 10 years, not because I like it - but because I am good at it and it does pay well.

Well, last night I started to think "Maybe I should take this job. Just in case this goal doesn't work out." EEK! I definitely don't want those kinds of thoughts. I almost went into a panic attack. I took a few deep breaths to start calming myself and then did several rounds of EFT to clear my head. I mean, sure, this job would mean a 6 figure salary. But my goal means so much more (and not just in a monetary sense).

I am going to continue with EFT and add some meditation in today. Meditation isn't my strong suit. There was a time I really got into meditation and it was really working for me. Then someone made the comment that this meditation technique wouldn't work if you didn't believe in god. Well, that comment threw me off. And I have never been able to get back up on that horse again. Logically I know that you don't have to believe in a god for meditation to work, but those words must have had a stronger impact than I thought. I will have to EFT them away:)

There is a lot of negativity flowing around my household. There is always a lot, but lately the negative vibration has gone off the scale. I usually stay downstairs to keep out of it, but if I want to be on the computer, or if I need to take care of a sick dog - upstairs is where I end up being. I am still quite positive and EFT is truly a wonderful thing. There is a part of me, though, (and yes I know I need to work on that part) that wonders at what point the negative will interfere with my positive vibration. I love being happy and feeling good. I don't want that to stop.

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