This Thought Counts

Hello again! Whew! Pity party over... pleasant seas ahead. Some wonder why I type entries when I am angry or annoyed, or when things don't work out. It is simple - if people are here to find out how I do things, I think it would be helpful to also know that things don't always work out perfectly. I have bad days - though for the most part they are few and far between. Sure, I could just write it in a journal, but I find it more liberating being honest about how I feel. And hiding it in a journal - isn't honest enough for me. I want to share my gains as well as my losses.

It is difficult looking into the mirror when I am dealing with having what I have to call a midlife crisis. It took so long to get passed my past. I still struggle with some things, but others I have overcome in a large way. So here I sit - I don't feel 43 for the most part, but the hard thing is - I am.  All the things most people are learning in their early 20s, I am dealing with. Now, that would not be bad if I was 21. But I am not 21. I'm 43. The only single men around me are divorced. Most with children. Great. Just what I wanted. (And yes, that was sarcasm.) Not to mention the fact that I seem to attract men I would never be attracted to, not in a million years. Yeah - definitely putting out the wrong vibration.