Pity Party: Party of one

It is difficult looking into the mirror when I am dealing with having what I have to call a midlife crisis.

It took so long to get passed my past. I still struggle with some things, but others I have overcome in a large way. So here I sit - I don't feel 43 for the most part, but the hard thing is - I am.  All the things most people are learning in their early 20s, I am dealing with. Now, that would not be bad if I was 21. But I am not 21. I'm 43.

The only single men around me are divorced. Most with children. Great. Just what I wanted. (And yes, that was sarcasm.) Not to mention the fact that I seem to attract men I would never be attracted to, not in a million years. Yeah - definitely putting out the wrong vibration.

The fact is I am feeling a lot of hatred toward the people who fucked up my life so badly it has taken this long to get over most of it. I know hatred is not a good emotion and it definitely does not help with the law of attraction. But - I cannot deny the way I feel.

Added to that, there is still a lot of shit I will probably never get over.  So, where does that leave me? Yeah - Cats. The thing is - I don't like cats. I feel young. I look like I am in my early to mid-thirties. So, how do I get past the negative emotions to where I can get back to attracting the good things again?

I want to get passed it, but I can't seem able to. I don't know if it is the continual cloud cover or the fact I know I have to give up some goals that can never be because at my age they just are not attainable, or the fact that I am a FUCKING OLD MAID!

Pity Party - Party of One.

Comments

  1. Glad to visit this blog, keep it going.

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  2. Hi

    I'm your Angel. I've been watching you for a while and I've been whispering in your ear for a while. You dont seem to hear me. I've been telling you to forgive because hatred breeds more hatred. You dont need to forgive those that hurt you for them. You need to forgive those who hurt you for you. Why because you've had enough sadness. Your brain has been rewired to enjoy sadness on some human level. I'm here to tell you that you need to break that neuron and the way to do it is with focusing on the end result.

    I'm your guardian angel and you've never even told me what you want. You have only ever told me what you dont want. Our creator keeps hearing of your pity party and he really feels those power negative emotions you've been emitting for way to long.

    I'm here to tell you that your wish is my command. Tell me what you need. Specifically. Maybe you could write down only what you want. I've been able to produce miracles...if you're simply after a sexy guy who has no baggage that's easy but please be so specific.

    Here's something I have watched other humans do....they write down what they dont want for example....they dont want to be an old maid with cats and an umbrella....what they do want....to have a handsome sexy companion (usually they write me a list of what they must have in a partner and what would be a bonus but not essential). If only you knew how easy it was for me to manifest soul mates.... actually I enjoy those requests. I love anything that makes your hearts sing. I feel those emotions and I am so eager to feel more of the good ones. Come on do it for me.

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