5th day of #40days of meditation

Hello everyone :)

Okay, I'm on day 5 of my 40 days of meditation and I'm starting to notice some interesting things. Such as I am far more aware of how much clutter is in my head at any given time.

Is it any wonder I've struggled for so long with getting intuition? My brain's been too clogged up to hear anything. It is like standing in the middle of a screaming crowd of fans and trying to make myself heard above the band and the yelling without a microphone.

Plus, there is something very unique to the quietude that is created within the meditation. To have nothing on my mind. Yes, my thoughts zoom in and I pull my mind back to either my breath or to the guided meditation speaker's voice or to the chant if there's one going on. But the fact is, it's like going from a loud room into a huge warehouse where there is complete silence.

It's one of those moments where you can't help but notice how odd it is. How loud the silence is. And how infinitely large the space is when we aren't clogging it up with thoughts.

And even more? How much you begin to crave it when your mind is playing 'who can yell the loudest?'

I'm a positive person, but I am amazed at how many thoughts have crossed my mind over the last two days which have negative bents. It was shocking actually. It's a good thing to notice them because now I can change those thoughts and turn them positive. But it still surprised me because of how many there were. I guess I just wasn't quiet enough to hear them before.

I have enjoyed davidji's guided meditations but after doing a morning meditation this morning *(Yes, I did it! I actually did a meditation right after waking. Go me!)* I'm going to look for other guides. I love his meditations except for one very large thing. His voice is wonderful and quiet and peaceful until the very end. While I am still in that calm, quiet, peaceful space, he says to do one collective Aum sound. Okay, fine. If he did it in the same quiet tone he'd been doing all along, that would be great. But no. He YELLS it. Okay, maybe not yells, but after how quiet the whole thing has been, that one loud sound jars me incredibly badly Or I spend my time tense waiting for that moment so I can turn the sound all the way down so it doesn't jar me.. And neither of those things are good for a meditation.

So I will look for other guided and mantra meditations as this is definitely an amazing experience and I will continue.

Namaste

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